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"I'm so humiliated!"Thank God! It was out! The worst of it wasn't rage that I had betrayed her, or sexual jealousy, or insecurity that she might lose me, or the knowledge that I had granted intimate favors to another (in fact, noone ever granted Estrella anything -- she took whatever she wanted, and it was never enough!). There had never been a strong physical relationship between Helen and me, nothing Estrella could alienate from Helen and appropriate for herself. Again, that may be why Estrella saw I was so easy. I never felt I was depriving my wife of anything.But here it was. Helen had suffered a loss of respectability. The worst of it was shame! Loss of the respect due her by the supposedly respectable people in her circle, because she had been credulous, and trusting, and other things wives should be, and had been deceived, duped, and other things wives should never be if they were to remain respectable."How can I humiliate you the way you've humiliated me?" she asked. "How can. .. You're going to make a woman, very happy"I know what we are doing is wrong but I can't stop myself now and I'm justifying it in my mind that I'm doing a good thing for my son. Not knowing how to please a woman could lead to awkward situations or worse... a mean girl could shame him and berate him and that could ruin him for sex forever. I'm doing a good thing... I'm doing this for Mark and his future happiness.Besides, having a young man look at me the way Mark is with raw desire and lust feels amazing. Something I hav'nt felt in a long time."I assume you've seen or watched porn?" Yes." And you know it doesn't usually happen the way it does in those movies." Yes." Sex is sometimes a****listic, but usually it's sensual and to be enjoyed slowly." Ok." You were doing great the way you were touching me. You felt that I was getting wet?" Yes." That's all the proof you need to realize that you're turning a woman on. The hotter you can get her, the steamier the sex will be. Every woman.
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